The Book We Thought We’d Never Finish

Today is launch day! It seems like I’ve had a lot of those lately, but this one is different for several reasons. Holy Sex Reboot: My Sexual Identity in Christ was like an illusive beast, hard to catch and even more difficult to keep pinned down. Besides the fact that it was our first co-authored book together as spouses (one of many we hope), and my first co-authored book ever, it was on a topic that exhausted our brains and in many ways broke our hearts. There is so much confusion and misinformation when it comes to ones sexual identity, and that is just as true in the Church of Jesus Christ. Every time we sat down to work on this book, we shredded more and more away. For me, that is always a painful process. Then there were the arguments… What should we add? Who was going to write that part? Did that addition make the difference that we wanted it to make? Add physical injuries and illness into an already complicated mix and you get… a really cool book?

The Book We Though We’d Never Finish

I am excited to say that this is one of the best books I’ve written, and that puts Travis way ahead of me since it’s his first book ever. But don’t take my word for it, here’s what readers are saying:

“As a single person I have often been frustrated with the Christian community’s lack of guidance on this subject. There is often a sex is taboo until you say ‘I do’ mentality. This book changes the discussion by pointing out how, even in my singleness, God has a plan for my sexuality.

The Spencer’s have done a wonderful job portraying the truth about God’s plan for sexuality in all walks of life. Their openness about their own journeys in purity are honest and insightful. I am so thankful to have a book on sex that I can recommend to all my friends; whether single or married. This book has been a blessing to my life and it will be a blessing to yours.” -Tabitha Burns, Hip Single Lady (24 years old), Serving in Full Time Ministry

“Travis and Kristin tackle a subject that many Christians shy away from, but they do so with much finesse and with valuable Biblical and personal insights. Holy Sex Reboot helps in understanding the divine principles of sexuality and in averting some of our misconceptions.” -Árpád Horváth Kávai, Pastor, Husband, & Father

This review is my favorite. It comes from a friend who volunteered to read it, even though she’s not the target audience:

“As a reader, I can give a chance to all kinds of books. If I like the subject matter, I read them. If I don’t, I ditch them. This particular book was something I would never imagine reading. Mostly for two reasons. First, it is written by Christians, and it’s addressed to Christians. Second, I didn’t know Christians would actually bring themselves to discuss the S-word in such detail. The Spencers have amazed me with their openness, honesty, courage and deep knowledge of the scriptures. They both seem to know what they’re doing, and they base all their advice on passages from the Bible. I believe Christians will be relieved to know that questions that have been torturing them regarding sex, can actually find answers in Holy Sex Reboot.

Now, the reason I think non-Christians will want to read it as well is very simple. Either single or married, people from all walks of life have been struggling with sexual frustration for years. Reading this book will not “convert” them to Christianity, but it will definitely help them regard sex as something more than a matter of the flesh. Especially married couples can revisit their behavior towards sex and proceed to have a healthier and more intimate sex life. The authors have been counseling couples, so it is certain that they know a thing or two on some of the factors why husbands and wives don’t always see eye to eye about certain things. I bet the topic of sex must come up very often during their sessions.

I was genuinely moved by the two authors’ confessions about their own mistakes and shortcomings and, for that, I salute them. It isn’t easy to expose yourself in such a way to help others. I think these two did a very good job.”

I hope you will find that this book bridges the gap for you between what ideas the Church accepts about sex and what the Bible actually says. If you have any questions we would love to hear from you.

Get your copy of Holy Sex Reboot: My Sexual Identity in Christ now for 33% off the normal price, a launch day special!

Happy Reading,

Kristin N. Spencer on behalf of me and T. E. Spencer

This Book is Killing Me

That sentence, “This book is killing me,” has passed over my lips too many times since I started writing the first book of the “Holy Sex Reboot” series. I still haven’t decided what subtitle to assign to the first installment. If I’m being honest, I’ll admit that I do not like writing non-fiction. I’d rather write fiction, even though being “successful” as an indie author is a long game, and my debut fiction novel, Newfangled, still only has 10 reviews on Amazon. *insert sigh* But that topic could easily occupy its own post.


Writing non-fiction is draining, because as my author friend said, “You always pick hard things to write about.” There’s a reason for that. I want to write about things that no one else is comfortable talking about. As an example, feel free to read this post, where I talk openly about my addiction to masturbation. Awkward to write? Definitely. But it’s the single most viewed post on my Sincerely Adorned blog. Why? Because not that many results come up when you type “what the bible says about masturbation” into the Google machine.

The thought that so many Christians, who are supposed to be liberated by the freedom found in Jesus Christ, are still in bondage to sexual immorality and sexual abuse makes me feel physically ill. That sick-to-your-stomach feelings hits me each and every time I sit down to work on this project. It’s exhausting. Every time I start writing the constant hand wringing and sighing leads my husband to ask, “What are you working on?” even though he already knows the answer. I am so thankful that he is working on this project with me, because I know that doing it alone would be impossible.

But why? Why is this project so stressful? Because I know too many people that have been hurt by misinterpretations of scripture in relation to this subject. Because I know too many men and women that we raped by so-called Christians. Because I’ve heard way too many stories of church bodies victim blaming the abused person and justifying the sins of the abuser. Because spiritual manipulation is manipulation with Jesus’ name attached and that makes me want to vomit. Whenever I work on this project, the weight of those injustices weighs me down. Soul. Crippling. Stuff.

So if you happen to read this, would you pray for me?

12,000 down, 8,000 words to go.

Happy reading,


Co-Authoring With My Husband

Four writers are gathered around a small table at our favorite geek themed cafe, and I’m explaining the plan to co-author a sci-fi novel with my husband. A fun and interesting woman I’ve just met starts to scrunch up her face and wring her hands in dismay. But why?

“I just don’t think that’s a good idea,” she explains.

“It’s not the first time we’ve worked together,” I respond.

“It just seems like too important of a relationship to put that kind of stress on.”

My other friends watch our interaction with amusement. I’m waiting for one of them to interject on my behalf, when I realize they’re enjoying this conversation way too much to interfere.

“I agree that it’s the most important relationship I have, but my husband and I collaborate on projects all the time. We’ve learned how to do it without fighting, mostly.”

Out of mercy, or because he’s grown bored with the conversation, the gentleman sitting directly across from me changes the subject to the problems that exist when you write about time-travel, which happens to be a main theme in my proposed project.


The truth is, Travis and I still haven’t worked out the problematic time-travel aspect of our sci-fi collaboration, but now we’re working on a different project instead. I hope we’ll revisit Wolfy’s story soon, but for now, he’s on the shelf.

A lot of people have asked me, “What is it like to co-author with your husband?”

If I’m being honest, it’s great. Sometimes I get into a writing rut, where I’m like a fact typing robot, and it starts to ruin the manuscript. Enter Travis. His fresh approach and great sense of humor bring something that was lacking to the work. He also helps me to wring the confusion out of my sentences. In general, I don’t like writing non-fiction. I only do it when I feel like God has been pressing me to write on a specific subject. So it’s nice that I can hand him a chunk of text, take a break, and he adds things and fixes problems while deciding the best way to move forward. I kill the passive voice in his stuff, he deletes unnecessary words from mine, and we keeping going.

I know writing with your spouse isn’t for everyone, but it seems to work for us. At least I think it works. I guess we’ll find out for sure when the first serial of “Holy Sex Reboot” comes out sometime around January.

Happy Reading,